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Monday, January 23, 2006 

Dennis Miller is Officially a Hack

I'm watching the new Dennis Miller special. At first I thought he was just warming up with old stuff (why one would do that anyway in their comeback HBO special I don't know) but the hack jokes never stopped. Seriously, he talked about hotel towels, fat people in Vegas, Cialis and that pesky 36 hour erection, those darned new drugs with all their side effects, Attention Deficit Disorder, old flight attendants, his awesome common sensical take down of global warming (apparently the sun was also hot when he was a kid), smoking bans, CRRAAZZY Howard Dean, pussy liberals, Bush's real world toughness, suits against tobbaco and fast food corporations, illegal aliens and their wacky outfits, and on and on. It wouldn't surprise me if one day a couple of years ago Dennis had a little conversation with himself that went like this:

"You know, I think I just realized away I can get another few years out of my career before I retire to sleep on bags of money. I haven't been relevant for a while so I'll get noticed by being the token pro-war comedian (High five Ron Silver!). Then I'll parlay that into a tour and a special even though I lost my edge and creativity years ago. You don't have to tell me that I got nothing left, I kept it going with stunts like hosting Monday Night Football and the whole conservative darling thing. I know that some of my large-worded similes don't exactly have much to do with what I was talking about, but those same fat Vegas tourists will laugh."

"Sounds like a plan!"

He didn't have to be this bad.
After one of his awful pro-war jokes, or after some anti-global warming pseudo-populist bullshit, he could have taken a shot like this: "Just hold on a fucking second you conservatives, I'll get to you. It's just not your turn yet, but please don't think you're clean. I'll fucking get to you." But no. He actually did a rundown of the most annoying politicians out there while not mentioning a single Republican, with the coda being a 10 minute rant on (are you fucking kidding me) Bill Clinton. Then immediately progressing to calling the US soft in the face of terrorism. He then said he was getting sick of the Iraqi people not being loyal enough to us. Next up was how we have to save over-taxed corporations. That's all I can write, you can see where this is going.
Good crap Dennis, if you had talked from your brain (which made you famous) and not just from your heart, you could have made me believe there was something behind your new persona besides ego and money then I would have been entertained. Do you really think that good people will take you seriously merely because you don't oppose gay marriage like an animal? Tell another "hedonistic and irresponsible baby boomer" joke you f-ing hack. F you.